If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it a thousand times: the language a brand uses in its marketing matters.

A lot.

Sure, having a great product to sell or offering a top-notch service is important too, but it’s making sure people know exactly how awesome your particular product or service is that really moves units.

Want to drive revenue for your brand? You’ll need your brand’s marketing language to be on point at all times.

Don’t believe us?

Well you might, once you take a gander at 8 of the worst marketing slogans of all time…

 

1) “Pork: the other white meat” – National Pork Producers Council

Marketing Language: the 10 worst marketing slogans of all time

Nice try, pork producers! Sure pork is one of our very favorite meats, but when “red meat” was getting some bad press back in the late 1980s, the finest minds in the pork industry combined to fund an ill-advised campaign designed to shift pork into the healthier category of “white meat”, where chicken and fish had languished in relative comfort for years. Just how stupid do they think we are?

 

2) “Melts in your mouth, not in your hands” – M&Ms

marketing language: the 10 worst marketing slogans of all time

Anyone who has ever held an M&M in their hands for more than 6 seconds is well aware that this slogan was never anything more than a gigantic lie. M&Ms may be delicious, magical little nuggets of happiness, but the streaks of rainbow-colored sweetness they invariably leave behind tell us all we need to know about this outrageous claim.

 

3) “Always in beta” – New balance

marketing language: the 10 worst slogans ever

Hmmm… So, basically, you haven’t finished testing these expensive shoes to determine if they are any good or not yet? Also, what percentage of the world’s population actually understands what “in beta” means? Aside from just being an extremely odd slogan unbefitting an otherwise attractive and high-performing shoe, this slogan is just plain confusing.

 

4) “Every bite is a different temperature” – Hot Pockets

marketing language: the 10 worst marketing slogans ever

What a weird thing to say about a food product! Hot Pockets are an American childhood institution, which makes this vaguely dangerous-sounding slogan even more confusing than it would otherwise have been.

 

5) “Impossible is nothing.” – Adidas

marketing language: the 10 worst marketing slogans ever

Sure, this slogan from one of the world’s biggest sportswear brand sticks with you, but what exactly does it mean?

 

6) “Be Stupid” – Diesel

 

marketing language: the 10 worst marketing language slogans ever

In marketing language, “attention-grabbing” doesn’t always mean “good”. Sure, appealing to the “anything for a Facebook photo likes” generation is a strong move, but is it really necessary to insult them at the same time?

 

7) “Nothing sucks like an Electrolux” – Electrolux

marketing language: the 10 worst marketing slogans ever

As much as we enjoy this particular slogan, how it got past committee is anyone’s guess.

 

8) “It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken” – Perdue Chickens

marketing language: the 10 worst marketing slogans ever

There’s a lot to unpack here. In fact, far to much to really get into. But surely we can all agree that this slogan is, at the very least, a really weird thing to say.

 

Yes, getting your brand’s marketing language just right can be tough, but it’s pretty important.

Need help upping your brand’s marketing language game? Give Phrasee a call and see what our AI-driven marketing language optimisation platform can do for you and your brand!

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