The modern professional athlete is the ultimate brand.

The adulation showered upon them by an adoring public, if utilised and marketed correctly, translates to money, money, and more money.

Just ask Michael Jordan.

Michael Jordan's Brand

But, how exactly do you “brand” a person?

And, once you do, what happens when that person does what people have been doing since time immemorial and messes up?

What if they cheat, commit a crime, or publicly say something outrageous?

What happens to their brand then?

We here at Phrasee, being outside the box thinkers, see an opportunity.

What if these athletes, rather than worrying about the “damage” such scandals do to their brands, embraced them instead, and used these gaffe-ortunities(tm) to market themselves in a different way, via Email?

Could our technology, which increases open rates and clicks by as much as 417%, help to make such a campaign successful?

Probably.

But no one has asked us yet, so all we can do is speculate…

What would the subject lines for such a marketing campaign look like…
mrw fantasy wayne's world dream sequence

Email marketing for the world’s most controversial athletes

 

Luis Suarez

Uruguayan football phenom who has been caught biting opposing players on no fewer than 3 separate occasions… 

Luis Suarez

“Which toothpaste brand keeps my chompers so strong and sharp that they cut through human flesh like warm butter? The answer might surprise you!”

 

Tom Brady

Who was caught arranging the deliberate deflation off balls (thus making them easier to throw/catch) prior to the 2014 AFC championship game…

Tom Brady

“Yeah, I cheated. Now, how about some deep discounts on iPhone accessories?”

 

David Beckham

Who has spent almost his entire life living in the tabloids, with an apparently loose grasp on reality…

David Beckham

“Several more photos of me wearing designer underwear to add to your vast collection”

 

Lance Armstrong

Who sullied his legacy as possibly the greatest cyclist of all time when he admitted to using performance-enhancing drugs in an interview with Oprah Winfrey in 2013…

Lance Armstrong

“10 reasons I only use Monoject Brand syringes”

 

Tiger Woods

Who’s squeaky clean image was tarnished when he was exposed as a serial philanderer during a domestic dispute with his wife, who chased him out of their house with a golf club…

Tiger Woods Apologizes

“Many infidelity websites claim to offer complete anonymity. Link enclosed to one which actually does…”

 

Lewis Hamilton

Who is under fire for “inconsiderate, disrespectful and sexist” post race behaviour after repeatedly spraying any women in the face with champagne, after victories, whether they liked it or not.

Lewis Hamilton

“My list of the 5 best Brands of Champagne to spray in chicks faces’. Numbers 1 – 5 may surprise them.”

 

Cristiano Ronaldo

Who fathered an illegitimate son with an unknown American woman, and then paid her 5 million pounds to go away, keep quiet, and agree to give him full custody…

Christiano Ronaldo

“I’ve learned from my mistakes, and you can too! Read about why I switched to Trojan Condoms and never looked back!”

 

Wayne Gretzky

Who, despite being the greatest ice hockey player who ever lived, and a peerless Canadian icon, had his name misspelled whilst being publicly honoured by Tottenham Hotspur…

Wayne Gretzky Tottenham

“Want to know why I’ve decided to become an Arsenal supporter?”

 

Zinedine Zidane

Who appeared to completely lose his mind during the 2006 World Cup final, head-butting a rival player and getting himself expelled from the most important game of his life… 

Zidane Headbutt

“Nothing cuts through my uncontrollable rage quite like a cold Smirnoff Ice.”

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